if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
