That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
