So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
