it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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