She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
