I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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