Do you still have your period?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
