I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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