1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
