She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
