You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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