It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize