my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
