at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
