remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
