I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
