Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
