literally had 100 drinks last night.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
