well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
