Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
