The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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