i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Randomize
