There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
