Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
