Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
