I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
