Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
