let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
