I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
