dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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