Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
