I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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