Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
