dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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