i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
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