it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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