Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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