Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
