So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize