But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
