yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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