I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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