This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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