Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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