remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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