So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
