don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
