My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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