all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
