I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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