atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize