I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
