I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
