Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
