After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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