As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
