I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
