return my video game
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
