Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
