OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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