when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
