Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
