I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
