is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
