so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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