You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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