I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
