Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
