I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize