So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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